A fair warning to my readers, this post may be a little R-rated.
I’m slowly coming to the realization that I am single. Yes, it’s been a couple of months, but sometimes these things can take a while to sink in, and besides, denial is a pretty effective coping strategy. At any rate, in a further attempt to put off grading that stack of papers staring at me menacingly from the kitchen counter, I started organizing my computer files and I came across this image that I had saved ages ago. Sage words from a wise man, and certainly something to bear in mind when I re-enter the world of dating.
Aside from a good laugh, this also got me thinking about what exactly it is that attracts us to someone, what it is that we look for. I spoke to someone the other day that said that it we are attracted to people who reflect us back to ourselves, but is it as simple as that? Would I really want to date a male version of myself?
I remember when as a teenager, I used to sit with my journal, creating list after list of the qualities that my “perfect mate” would possess. Although I’m happy to say that it was never as superficial to include things like “tall” or “dark hair,” it was incredibly specific. Over the decades, it certainly has evolved, and in fact, what I want really has become much more difficult to pin down. We all want someone who shares our basic values, but unless we are aware of what those are, truly, we may find ourselves consistently down the wrong paths. We all want someone who loves us, but is that enough? And then there’s what no one ever wants to admit is important but we all know that it really is… the sex.
I suppose that the things that matter, the “deal-breakers,” are as individual as each one of us, and even then, they’re immensely flexible, aren’t they? I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot lately, more so now that I have friends trying to set me up on dates to get me back “out there.” What do I want? What should I want? Maybe its time to revisit and revise my old lists.
And if nothing else, at least John Waters has given me a good place to start 😉